At the beginning of October 2013, I had the opportunity to spend three days at Outdoor Lab with the sixth graders at my school. I'll be honest...the thought of 24 hour duty with a gaggle of 12 year old girls did not necessarily sound like my ideal way to spend a week, but it turned out to be awesome.
We spent the week at camp IdRaHaJe (it stands for "I'd Rather Have
Jesus"). While it is a religious camp, they also host these "mountain
lab" stays for schools of all types, and have thus adjusted their
activities to allow the "public" sector to join in.We played outside, we hiked, we got to shoot bows and arrows and repel...but the thing I loved the most was the meals.
Go ahead. Make your snide comments. It's no secret that eating is my favorite hobby. But I'm not talking about the food, here (even though it was all made from scratch and awesome. If colleges served food that good, it would turn into the Freshman 50.)
Their mess hall is quite possibly one of the most amazing experiences I've ever had with students. All of the meals there are served family style. Literally, "Amaya, please pass the potatoes. Jacob, please pass the salt." Each table can hold eight people. One person at each table is your OTS Rep (Opportunity to Serve). They bring bowls and baskets with all the food you need. After a moment of silence, kids are expected to ask politely to "please pass" whatever they need. They serve each other. If more of any food item was needed, the OTS member gladly steps up and replenishes. We talked, got to know each other, laughed, served, and shared food.
I have never seen such happy, kind, wonderful middle school students in my life.
I asked each table that I sat with (as I tried to eat with different kids most of the time) if they did this often with their families. The answers were quite depressing: "No, we never use our table. We just sit in the living room and watch TV." "No, we just kind of eat whenever." "Sometimes, mostly for holidays and stuff."
And yet...when in this situation, the kids were happy, they cared for each other, helped each other, laughed together and smiled. It worked. They served, they cleared the tables, they helped each other out. They were civil. And kind. And full of happiness.
So often, I think that we just expect and accept poor behavior from this age group. We just think, "Ah, middle school is just a tough time." And it is, believe me, it is. And yes, kids these days do tend to be less respectful than in times past...when we let them. When we expect that of them.
However, when these students were in a place where the expectation was respect, kindness, service and love, they totally stepped up and owned it and loved it. I know I'm repeating myself here, but I have never seen these kiddos so happy before. I truly believe that these kids are capable of so much more than we give them credit for.
I am a HUGE believer that kids will live up to the expectations you give them. They WANT to live up to what's expected of them, whether they're 6 or 13. If they know you don't expect much, they won't give you much. But if you have high expectations of them, and tell them what those expectations are, they will do their best to live up to that instead of automatically thinking they're going to fail!! (We've tried this experiment on several different primary classes...hahaha)
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